Let’s face it: there’s been a massive decline in social standards in recent times all over the world. Agelong institutions and social norms are caving and collapsing, sadly, even in the church. Dating has become a whirlpool of several vices and unconscionable behaviors even among Christians. It is therefore important for Christians couples to examine their relationships with scrutiny and determine whether God is honored and glorified in their relationship.
In this article, we will explore ten different criteria you can use to determine if you are honoring God in your relationship or not. The goal isn’t to judge or condemn anyone, but to point out to you areas that might need to be considered for a change. Let’s dive in!
1. You Always Put Him First
In Mark chapter twelve, when Jesus was asked which were the greatest commandments, he responded, “The first of all the commandments is… and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.”
Love for the Lord is exemplified by always putting him first in all our decisions, and that should be the greatest aim of every Christian. This also applies to our relationships. If you put the Lord first, it would become the compass that navigates the kind of relationships you go into and the people you enter into those relationships with, especially your dating relationships.
When you’re in a dating relationship, honoring God in your relationship is all about giving Him priority as you date and doing the things that please Him. God’s Word is clear about the things that both please and displease God, and if you honor God, you’ll care deeply about those things.
2. You Obey His Word
If you are intentional about honoring God in your relationship, you’ll obey His word. This is an offshoot from the first point we examined – if you love the Lord, you will honor Him by keeping His commandments (John 14:15; John 15:14). The first step to obeying the Lord’s commands is to know what those commands are, and His commands are littered all over scriptures.
If you are committed to honoring God in your relationship, you will study the Bible to understand what His will is and how that applies to your individual lives as well as your relationship as a whole. However, studying the Bible is merely the first step in the right direction but doesn’t end there. Practicing the Bible is the real sauce as James 1:22 admonishes:
But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. (NLT)
Honoring God in your relationship would mean that you practice what the Bible stipulates, and that what the Bible calls sin is upheld as just that in your lives and relationship. It means you don’t rewrite the Bible to suit your whims by the second.
3. You Surrender Your Desires to Him
Another way to tell that you’re honoring God in your relationship is to surrender your feelings, emotions and desires to Him. As humans, we all have the tendency to prioritize our needs, desires and will over and above another’s. That’s why as Christians we constantly wrestle with surrendering what we want to do for what God would have us do. It’s only natural for us to always want to be in control and do whatever we want whenever we want it.
However, 2 Corinthians 5:15 reminds us that “…he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.” This means that you cease to live just for yourself but for Jesus, ensuring that you live to fulfill His own desires as against yours.
That sounds kinda tough, doesn’t it? Yeah, indeed it is almost the hardest things for our flesh to do, which is why we’ve been given the Holy Spirit to aid our weaknesses and strengthen us to do the will of the Father. But if you’re honoring God in your relationship, you won’t let your feelings and emotions dictate your relationship, but instead, you would surrender to the principles and instructions of the Lord to build your relationship for His glory.
4. You Don’t Date Casually
The truth is that dating isn’t exactly recognized in the Bible. The only thing close to that is betrothal or courtship, which was characterized by an intention to marry. The contemporary idea of dating is more of a sport and contrary to God’s intentions. We were never meant to date casually or just for fun as people of God. The only goal for which dating is necessary for Christians is to get married in the end.
Granted, not all dating relationships culminate in marriage for several reasons, however, if your goal is honoring God in your relationship, there should at least be an end goal of getting married from the get-go. If your relationship is merely to have fun, to escape loneliness, or to achieve some kind of status publicly, then you aren’t honoring God in your relationship.
5. You abstain from sexual immorality
This is where it starts to get a little more sensitive. And this only goes further to reveal just how contemporary Christianity has deviated from what is clearly written in scriptures. There is a plethora of Bible passages that condemn sexual immorality and especially sex before marriage, which is delineated as fornication. Today, the church and Christians alike condone several unscrupulous practices and behaviors that contradict scriptures.
One of such popular scriptures is 1 Corinthians 6: 15-19,
“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?…Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?”
Another is Colossians 3:5-6,
“Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience…”
And then, Hebrews 13:4,
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
These scriptures are clear on what constitutes God’s will concerning male-female relationships, and therefore if you are honoring God in your relationship, you’ll abstain from sexual immorality.
6. You Keep Yourself Pure
Does this sound like it’s getting too repetitive? Well, as much as this point seems very similar to the previous point we just went over, they are two separate issues. Honoring God in your relationship doesn’t end with merely fleeing immorality.
It is one thing to abstain from sexual immorality but an entirely different thing to walk in purity. Purity doesn’t don’t relate to the body, but extends to your mind, your thoughts, your speech, and your entire lifestyle.
You probably may have ticked off the last point and did a little jig for being on track, but what about purity? Is your relationship hinged on purity? Do you keep your pure and rid of filthy thoughts and imaginations? Do your conversations center around purity? If your answers to these questions are in the affirmative, then you are honoring God in your relationship.
7. You Set Healthy Boundaries
How many times have you heard about couples who ‘accidentally’ fell into sin when things got heated up between them? I’m guessing it’s been more than a few times. What happens when throw a flaming torch on dry grass? Of course, it burns. There are several things that are inevitable and are bound to occur just by design, and one of those things is couples giving into their passions when the atmosphere is set just right.
Christians who honor God in their relationship are conscious and intentional about setting boundaries to guard them from giving into their passions and ultimately sinning against God. No one is strong in themselves and the Bible is a constant advocate for wisdom, and one wise thing Christians in dating relationships must do is to set boundaries. That goes a long way to reveal that you are honoring God in your relationship.
8. You Stay Accountable To Ensure You Are Honoring God in Your Relationship
This is intentionally placed after the previous point on setting boundaries. While setting boundaries is a laudable accomplishment, taking it a step further to become accountable only yields greater rewards. Christians in a relationship should be accountable to themselves, however, it is also important to have an external influence to whom you’re both accountable. This keeps you in check and helps you stick to your boundaries.
You should be accountable to someone who has some tangible influence over your life or that of your partner or both of you. This entails that there is a real repercussion when boundaries are breached, and it also serves as the motivation to honor the boundaries. There are fewer things that go the lengths to show that you are honoring God in your relationship as a Christian dating couple than staying accountable.
9. You Walk in Biblical Love
The world has redefined love to mean several mundane things such as sex, material gifts and the like, however, the Bible clearly outlines that love in a Christian context reads differently. Most of the expressions of love stipulated by the Bible are intangible and harder to achieve than the world’s definitions.
1 Corinthians 13, the Love Passage, shows that love from God’s perspective is a far cry from the world’s outlook of love. Walking in biblical love is further proof that you are honoring God in your relationship and care deeply about how God views your relationship.
10. You seek Him Together
Finally, we’ve come to the last point on this list. If you are honoring God in your relationship and have paid attention to the previous nine points, then this last point will be a walk in the park. When you seek God together in your relationship, you enjoy various benefits and perks beyond drawing closer to the Lord together. For instance, you both grow closer, have less disagreements, become more joyful, and much more.
Learn to seek God together in your relationship as proof that you are honoring God in your relationship and watch your relationship blossom and become more fulfilling and enjoyable.
Which of these ten tips do you find most useful? You could share them on your social media platforms. To figure out what communication is important to your relationship, you may find this helpful. Join Godterest on a mission to help single Christians find love God’s way by tapping here.
