One of the things that lead to the collapse of happy relationships is a lack of communication or poor communication skills between the partners. It might be easily overlooked as nothing serious, but it could cause great harm in a relationship, especially between Christians.
It is necessary for Christians in a relationship to talk about everything, especially before marriage. This helps them know themselves well enough before they get married. Communication fosters love and brings two partners closer than ever.
What are some things to talk about when in a relationship? Below is a list of eight areas that facilitate communication between Christian partners:
TALK ABOUT YOUR WALK WITH GOD
Not everyone is at the same level of maturity in their Christian walk and it is important for two dating believers to be aware of each other’s level of spiritual growth and maturity. This is necessary to avoid misunderstandings afterward when either of the partners makes a spiritual choice that the other person does not believe or accept.
This is often the reason for many disagreements especially among Christians from very diverse Christian backgrounds, for example, between one raised Catholic and one raised Pentecostal.
Lack of communication on what each person believes and their understanding of Christianity would definitely cause friction in the course of the relationship.
Also Read: Why Must I Date A Christian?
TALK ABOUT YOUR VALUES, LIKES AND DISLIKES
It is important to talk about your values and preferences while dating. This would help each person know what irks the other and do well to avoid it or apologize in the case where they err. If couples do not talk about what they hold in high esteem and the little things they like, there would be lots of unmet expectations and disappointments which over time could tear the relationship apart.
TALK ABOUT MONEY
Many relationships fall apart over issues relating to money. A lot of couples do not just understand how important money is when it comes to relationships. You must be able to ask each other what their perspective about money and money management is.
Some persons were raised with a carefree attitude towards money and so spend carelessly. If such a person starts dating someone who comes from a more frugal background, they might have issues over the money decisions the other partner makes if they do not properly discuss these issues.
Remember that unless two agree, they cannot walk together.
TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY
Some dating couples do not talk about their families until they are about to get married. This is wrong. Family plays a major role in relationships. It is important to know the family of the person you’re dating – their culture, values, personalities, beliefs and so on.
Getting to know more about the family of the person you’re dating will shed more light on the behavior and attitudes of the person you’re dating. Some issues that spring up in a relationship could be avoided if the dating couple know enough about each other’s family and parents.
TALK ABOUT YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
The person you’re dating is not the only person you share a relationship with. You have other friends, colleagues, family relations and acquaintances beside your partner. Your partner should be brought into your other worlds to help them know you better.
You should strive not to keep secrets from your partner, especially when it is established that you will be getting married to each other. Let them know who your friends are, especially those of the opposite sex to avoid complications later on. You should also let them know of your past relationships, so that they don’t get surprised when something from that time springs up.
TALK ABOUT YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS
It is a sad experience to realize after months and years of dating, that your partner has goals and dreams which you cannot agree to. Maybe they plan on traveling to another country to get a degree or start a career. Or perhaps, they always wanted to join the army, but you were never aware.
As early as possible in a dating relationship, it is important for partners to discuss their goals, dreams and vision for the future. This would eliminate tension and disappointment when either partner begins to take actions in advancement of those goals.
TALK ABOUT SPORTS AND POLITICS
This may not sound very serious, but sometimes it is. I have seen relationships disintegrate because either partner supported a different sporting team than the other, or upheld opposing political views. There could be serious disagreements if couples do not discuss this only to find out later that the other person holds a completely contradicting opinion.
TALK ABOUT YOUR HURTS
This is really important for dating couples. Do not brush issues under the carpet. Let them out and have mature discussions about them. If you’re hurt by something your partner did or said to you, first you must ensure you calm yourself down so you do not say words you don’t mean out of anger and escalate the situation.
Wait till you’re calm enough and then bring up the issue gently without raising your voice or apportioning blames. Let the other person know what they did to hurt you and how you felt about it and also why you felt that way.
When you talk about your hurts this way, you can maintain a happy relationship filled with peace and joy.
Communication is the lubricant that prevents friction and allows the vehicle of your relationship to move freely. It should never be trivialized by dating Christians. You should talk with your partner as often as possible. We all change over time, and without communication, you might struggle to keep up with the person evolving in the relationship. Don’t allow disagreements to last longer than they should. Talk about them quickly and move on from them.
We do hope these tips have helped you and we believe that when you apply them in your relationship, you would experience joy and satisfaction. Please tell us what you think about these tips.
